"Success is the result of good judgment, good judgment is a result of experience, experience is often the result of bad judgment." ~ Tony Robbins
Hmmmm...so if success is the result of good judgment, and good judgment is a result of experience and experience is often the result of bad judgment, then...
Where do we start?!!? Well, failing, of course! :)
We need to quit taking ourselves so seriously and get on it! Emerson tells us that all life is an experiment anyway, so what're we worried about?!?

What am I so worried about. What is the worst that could happen?

Someone asked me this today, and then I open up an email and am asked it again.

I have been having an easier time doing this in my business than in my personal life.

I believe many people have some degree of fear of being vulnerable-of being hurt by being vulnerable.

I deal with it by staying busy. If I am busy doing, I have less mental space to worry about being hurt. I am also protected-or warded off a bit by giving so much energy to a task/job/hobby that there is little room for intimacy.

I have noticed I go through cycles of this in all of my relationships, and this awareness has helped me work on smoothing out the peaks and valleys-or at least trying to smooth out the peaks and valleys:)

It seems I have been having some big and symbolic opportunities to practice this - most recently with Squam Art Workshops 2008.

Rooming with my friend Denise - who being around feels like being tapped into a meditative trance-was dreamy and so enriching. Being around and with so many beautiful, loving, courageous, friends and artists was powerful and so intense.

And then my soul was shifted-lifted up and given wings by the beautiful Christine Mason Miller aka Swirly. I still feel nervous to write about it-nervous to try to define it. Why? Tonight I ask myself "what is the worst that could happen?"

When I am touched deeply and am connected to someone I become spooked. Not by the person. But that it was a fluke. And if I pay too much attention to it, or talk about it, or share it, maybe I will be told or discover that the other person didn't feel the same way. Or I will be made fun of. Or I will find a chink in the fence, that may take the feeling/insight away. I don't know where this comes from......

I was so moved by my experience at Squam that without even realizing it I jumped into being busy. I was too afraid that riding that opened up emotion/feelings would lead me to being disappointed?

I am so deeply grateful that the people nearest and dearest to my heart, seem to get this in some way. They haven't abandoned me even though I get close and then get busy and less connected.

The next step-is to step into the room of cats even though I feel I am as tender as a field mouse. That I keep standing where I am when I find myself getting closer to someone I love or that I feel that deep authentic self inside called to by someone I admire. To stand. Not jump forward (like I imagine I should) or jump back/into being consumed or busy with something (like I think I want to). But to stand still in that moment. In that space. And be ok with the discomfort. To ask myself.

What is the worst that could happen?


Blogger Georgia said...



2/18/2009 9:28 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

and more hugs. :)


2/18/2009 9:53 PM  
Blogger Swirly said...

I think you, more than most people, know how well I relate to so much of what you said here. I love you.

2/20/2009 11:24 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I can releate deeply to your words here. Thank you so much for being so raw and so honest.

2/20/2009 7:00 PM  
Blogger kitasmom said...


2/25/2009 8:07 PM  

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