10/11/2007

The journey of an artist






The afternoon before last, I applied to trunkt.com (with some trepedation). I have arrived at a place where I am ready to put myself out there to the world that has yet to meet me and my work. Putting myself out there to you -my blog readers and friends has been much easier. LOL.

Yesterday morning I got a rejection letter from trunkt. It hurt. It made me question myself for a bit. I wanted to curl up and protect myself. Especially because they don't provide any feedback as to why. The good thing is that I reached out to friends because I knew I wanted to believe in myself and not go the retreated hurt place for very long.

I was a bit embarrassed to post about it. Maybe afraid that I would reveal I am not really good enough.

But my beautiful sister in law and my friend Susannah gave me some, loving, yet firm, reality checks. And my soul listened and I sat up and felt a strength rise in me, and acceptance that never used to be there, about who I am and what I have to share. Not all people will connect with my work. That is ok. It reminds me of a tough lesson I learned when I was a first year teacher and kept relearning every year. Not every student would like me or my teaching style, but many would. To learn to honor myself and others for being individuals with different needs and preferences.

So in some strange way this rejection makes me feel like I have arrived, to the life of an artist that feels good about her work. One that is learning to revel in the joy of creating, rather than worrying about who ISN'T moved the same way by my photographs or jewelry that I am.

I decided I needed to take some affirming actions so I bucked up and headed to a florist to buy some flowers to photograph with my new 100mm canon lens (wow steep learning curve-I will show some new pics soon). I decided to bring one of my moms old portfolios with my photographs and some jewelry to show the owner. They agreed to allow me to sell some jewelry there. The amazing thing is instead of being thrilled to be accepted by someone-I decided this wasn't the type of store I wanted to house my jewelry.

I came home and took pictures of some new pieces with my (blurry awful ones I might add:) new lens. It is challenging to say the least. Definitely need a tripod. LOL.

Copper toned buddha (sold)


Buddha

Follow your bliss


Then I resubmitted my application to trunkt with just photos this time-thinking maybe the jewelry part is too competitive.

In the evening I met with a parental figure I haven't seen in a while. I gave them my new cards upon our greeting and then started to talk about this journey. I found myself saying that although I loved teaching and felt natural doing it-this feels more like an expression of me-my soul. That I am really ok about not trying to be the best photographer, or the best jewelry designer. Often I expect myself to be perfect/the best or I quit. That it is about expressing my heart and what I love. It is an expression not a goal to accomplish.

These loving eyes looked at me and repeated what I said-and I saw the beauty in it when it was spoken back to me.

When I got home there was a second rejection from trunkt. This time I just said in my head "oh well".

I closed that email to find that I had three orders. One from an artist I soooo admire, one from Tara Whitneys clients that just received her necklace and wants to get a gift for a friend, and one from a sweet patient understanding woman who was kind about something confusing.

I think I have arrived at the door to a beautiful journey of finding, loving and expressing me.

Namaste

28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thea, I am thrilled to read this post from you this morning. I am so proud of you!! I love your attitude. The new pendants are just gorgeous.
Love,
Melissa

10/11/2007 8:21 AM  
Blogger Susannah said...

see? i wasn't talking shit after all ;-) i love you baby - your journey is a magnificent one xxo

10/11/2007 8:52 AM  
Blogger Kirsten Michelle said...

if i hadn't just done the four hour drive back from my sister's...i swear i'd hope in my car...little ones in tow...and drive myself south of the border to give you the biggest hug!!!
this moved me to tears, thea.
i'm starting my first photgraph course tonight...and i'm terrified beyond words...
you are strong and beautiful, inspiring and oh-so-talented...i'm so glad you decided to share this post ;-)
xo
k

10/11/2007 10:56 AM  
Blogger daisies said...

so many emotions but mostly i am so very proud of you for pushing through and accepting yourself and the journey you are on ... you are good enough for you and the world that loves your beautiful art and as a very wise woman said to me yesterday, you have come soooo far in the past year :) i think that when you look back to this place next year you are going to be amazed at how much farther your soul has flown :)

your art is beautiful, you are beautiful and everyday i am amazed at the beauty that you create and can't wait to see what you do next :) i heart the copper tone!!

xox

10/11/2007 11:12 AM  
Blogger deirdre said...

I'm so proud of you for moving forward after such a blunt rejection. I'm shaking my head over why they wouldn't be jumping up and down in a hurry to get your work. It's so beautiful.

10/11/2007 11:17 AM  
Blogger Nessie Noodle said...

this is such a beautiful post... it is about what feels right, and what is lovely in your eyes as the artist.
So much in here that I could write on and on about- but your words touched me.

thank you for making beautiful art work and sharing it with all of us.

10/11/2007 12:41 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I've definitely connected with your work. It's gorgeous! I'll be shopping soon. :-P

10/11/2007 1:19 PM  
Blogger Georgia said...

Remember... about a year ago, when we were talking on the phone. When all this was still a dream? Look how FAR you have come!

So proud of you baby.

xoxo
~Georgia

10/11/2007 2:13 PM  
Anonymous acumamakiki said...

to me, this is the sign that you've truly arrived as an artist because you've learned to love yourself and your work despite feeling down after hearing no. your work is beautiful my dear, you've got a gift and an eye and you continue to see the world in your way, no one stepping in the viewfinder that sees anything but your talent.

10/11/2007 2:38 PM  
Blogger PixieDust said...

I am so fiercely proud, thrilled, and delighted by this post! The strength to move forward, to move forward with your dreams in tow and NOT let them fall by the wayside is so beautiful, so inspiring, and so YOU! This is what I see when I view your work, and when I read your words.

So much LOVE, and big (((Hug))) to you...

:-)

10/11/2007 3:05 PM  
Blogger jenica said...

beautiful words. i echo acumamakiki's words.

10/11/2007 3:56 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

You are such an inspiration Thea each and every word just shows what a gorgeous soul you are and how you have grown on this journey it just screams Grace xx

10/11/2007 4:40 PM  
Blogger bridgette said...

your work is very beautiful. As well as the words you write in your blog here.

I too am in my own journey of getting over the fear of rejection in regards to my work and to keep on putting it out there. It gets easier! :)

I always remember what a stranger told me once when asked why I don't try to get my artwork out into the world-she said, "if you don't have a roomful of rejection slips, you aren't trying hard enough, dear". She patted my hand and smiled gently.

keep on...

:)

10/11/2007 5:05 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

i am applauding over here in this corner of the world. yes. i am applauding just for you dear one.
this attitude, your belief in yourself...this is fantastic!

10/11/2007 5:41 PM  
Blogger ::Bek Geach:: said...

Thea... you are very talented. VERY!
Bx

10/11/2007 7:09 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

I think your art/jewlery is fabulous. And that is why I bought 3 pendants! I love them all, and usually cannot choose which one I am going to wear. Wish I could have one of everything you make!

Chin up!
Sam

10/11/2007 9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love the pendants, thea, and find your bravery and perseverance so inspiring. there are so many people (like myself) who appreciate and value your art.

trust me, i have really good taste. ;)

~ruby

10/11/2007 9:50 PM  
Blogger Maddie said...

I am so proud of you for
your self love and honoring
your talents and having
faith and love for them.
I adore your work - as you know -
and when I have more money
I would love a buddha for myself this time:) and the copper toned
one is so so so beautiful:)

10/11/2007 11:23 PM  
Blogger Schmoops said...

i really love all you have said here. i believe a huge part of the journey is realizing that art is not about perfection. i think this is what stops me from persuing my creative dreams most days. i think it's fair to say you have arrived once you acknowledge that sure, your art might not be for everyone, but the world needs your vision and there are plenty who you do touch with your vision. that is an amazing, inspriring accomplishment. you are a great teacher to all of us. love you! xoxo

10/12/2007 12:47 PM  
Blogger Michelle (a.k.a. la vie en rose) said...

woo-hoo honey! you are such a ROCKSTAR!

10/12/2007 1:47 PM  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

T~ First and foremost....THANK YOU....for sharing this with us. I know that it was hard, but there is absolutely nothing to be embarressed about. It is indeed as your wise friends said. We can not please all of the people all of the time, and not everyone is going to connect with what we put out there. I believe the really hard part about this is that what we put out there is out heart and soul. It is personal. If it wasn't, it would not be worth anything, and with it, it is worth everything.

I am so so so proud of you for a.)resubmitting your photos and b.) saying "oh well"

There are plenty of us who think that what you do is magic, and plenty more people who will discover your magic in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.

We believe in you...*I* believe in you. But most important, YOU believe in you. You have arrived indeed beautiful friend.

Dancing for you. Love you.xoxoxo

10/12/2007 3:08 PM  
Anonymous misty said...

This is a wonderful post!
I know how rejection stings in the worst of ways, for me it always makes me want to shine even brighter, to say...see? I can be who I want to be.
You are a beautiful artist. Keep shinning darling! xoxo
funny...i have never heard of trunkt until now. ;-)

10/12/2007 4:12 PM  
Blogger Mardougrrl said...

I love love your jewelry. It must be time to treat myself soon.

You are amazing...xoxo, M

10/12/2007 5:40 PM  
Anonymous lunarmusings said...

I can't begin to express how utterly inspiring this process you are sharing is for me. Your bravery and commitment to you, to your art is beautiful. And its giving me another very needed push.

love to you dear one!
e

10/12/2007 8:05 PM  
Anonymous Frida said...

Yay for Susannah - she is a wise one. It is a tough journey but a beautiful one. x

10/13/2007 12:45 AM  
Blogger mccabe said...

oh goodness,
i so very much understand this!

i had a rejection from an art gallery
a few months ago and posted about it.
i was embarrassed, too.

i love that you share your journey here,
because it gives your experience healing power by sharing it with others. as artists, i think we NEED this from each other. i know i do.

your creations are truly magical,
and one day soon i will be a client of yours. :)

with love
mccabe x

10/13/2007 1:29 AM  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

your wisdom teaches me.
your creations move me.
your passion inspires me.
your beauty humbles me.

i love you.
toe to toe.

xoxo

10/14/2007 1:22 AM  
Blogger Swirly said...

THAT is a beautiful doorway, and seeing how wonderful your work is, it is not surprising you found your way there.

10/16/2007 8:28 PM  

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