These earrings are for you Jessie.

Today I was brave in getting up at 6:00 am even though we had a childless party here last night and I was up past midnight. I don't know if you had ever played the board game cranium before, but oh my we had fun. I really needed to unwind with some grown ups. It felt so good to sit with three other couples playing a game and laughing until my cheeks hurt and I couldn't seem to catch my breath.

I had a lot of work and packaging to do this morning so I knew I had to get up at 6:00 if I wanted a fighting chance of getting it all done.

I am happy to say that although I am exhausted-and my son had a few extra tantrums because I was a bit distracted this am-all the invites are out for my first jewelry party-all orders that could be shipped were-and I have photographed all the new pieces I have made. Here is a sneak peek. I have listed a few in the shop but I am starting to see cross eyed so I have to load more another time.

Oh and I think I listened to the "darkest season" by Deb Talan at least 10 times, and shed at least 10 hundred tears. This happens to me sometimes. I will hear a song that makes me really feel deeply and I will celebrate my ability to feel by listening to it over and over until my tears dry up. the tears were a mix of missing my girlfriends I was with 1 year ago in Seattle, contemplating a wise ones question to me " do you believe you can be ok without your mother?" (this has so many layers to it), holding my friends little baby girl all night-she is the exact age my son would be, appreciation for my artistic expressions and all of those who are supporting them.

Here are the lyrics:

Darkest season by Deb Talan

the last few golden leaves are clinging tightly to their branches

like they don't want to let go

like they don't trust what they don't know

what they don't know

'cause it's not quite winter and it's not quite fall

and even though it's been a year

i cannot pass you by

not at all i tell myself

enough

my heart can't feel the reason why

must we into the darkest season

it's cold getting colder

i dreamt last night of being older

i looked in the mirror there was so much grey

if i saw you tomorrow what would i say

what could you say

it's not quite winter and it's not quite fall

and even though it's been a year

i cannot pass you by

not at all

i tell myself

enough

my heart can't feel the reason

why must we into the darkest season the darkest season

it's not that i'm not thankful or grateful for what we've grown

it's not that i'm not living my life alright on my own

i still feel the empty space

i still feel the wind blow through

i still thought in any case that i'd always know you

it's not quite fall and even though it's been a year i cannot pass

you by not at all

i tell myself

enough

my heart can't feel the reason why

must we into the darkest season it's cold getting colder

i dreamt last night of being older

i looked in the mirror there was so much grey

if i saw you tomorrow what would i say

what could you say

it's not quite winter and it's not quite fall and even though it's been a year i cannot pass you by not at all i tell myself enough my heart can't feel the reason why must we into the darkest season