I was talking to a friend last week about blogging. How I wish I could connect with people through my blog, the way I do in person. When I started this blog it was a diary of sorts where I processed the grief of losing my mother and our path through infertility. Then it also became a place where I started to venture into my creative life.
There has been a shift of sorts in my life. Writing here through those struggles and receiving love and support really helped me tremendously. So much that I became ready to move past them. To let go of it. In it's place came things I haven't found as easy to blog about, because they are so different than what I blogged about before. But I am also having a hard time accepting that blogging for me was just for processing that grief.
I want to give back, I want to stay connected to this amazing online outlet of blogging. So I have been thinking about what it is that I want to share through blogging. I keep finding I am trying to squeeze it into what blogging has looked like for me up until now. It isn't working.
So I have decided to start by using this as a diary, and see how it turns out. I am forcing myself to let go of any preconceived notions of what this is supposed to look like.
This am I am faced with the question should I sit home today and edit the senior high school shoot-that I have to have the gallery up for by Sunday-and finish the slideshow for Squam that E needs tomorrow, and make T ( my 3 yr old watch movies) or do I get up shower and bring T to the mall 30 minutes away with my/his friend to the bounce house place and keep my fingers crossed he will nap later?
Just 2 days ago T decided he wasn't going to nap any more. That takes away my 2 hr free work time. This afternoon I have a shoot at 4:30. Sunday my goddaughter gets baptiized. Monday I have to set up a place in babies R us to take photos of kids in their costumes. I am freaking out because I still don't know how to use my flash properly and have never done a photo event like this-never mind indoors. When if ever will these nerves go away?
Well T is bouncing around asking repeatedly if he can go outside. Guess we are going to the bounce place.........