{this is my previous post edited}
Part of my hesitation in writing about my experience with Denise has been my own reactions to reading about other amazing woman get togethers. A degree of longing is often stirred in me, whether it is for an opportunity to be with that friend, a chance to connect and bond with a person I admire or relate to, or even sometimes just to feel a part of. I often want to know more about what specifically made it so amazing, what revelations were made, what lessons learned, what parts of the people were enforced or even shifted. These are all very tough things to express in words, at least for me, so I was brought to tears when I read Denise describing our time together on her blog { here }. I feel she put the experience into words better than I ever could.

So all I can add is some of the revelations I had, the lessons I learned, the parts in me that were enforced and shifted.

Revelations:
When you connect with your photographic subject in a deep soulful way-that beauty and joy shared between you comes through in the picture. When I write this it seems obvious, at least to me, but I never really had it reinforced in such a way. Living with a three year old and with my busy mind often distracts me. My experience with Denise allowed me to see this clearer, and I have since taken both still life photos and photos of my son, where I was more concious of being centered and allowing the connection with my subjects to build and be present.

That I needed to go deeply into the emotions of my fertility journey with Denise just to feel and acknowledge them, to honor them and to let them go. That where I am today about it {enjoying my son and not trying any more}, is just where I need to be.

Lessons, enforcements and shifts:
That it is common to be tempted as an artist to be guided by what you think your audience wants; to strive for outward approval. The artists I admire and strive to be like, attract me because they have chosen to rely on their inner guide, and their own approval that comes from following their creativity. The lesson I learned by talking to Denise about my art was that if I follow my bliss and block out all the rest I will be the happiest and most satisfied artist I can be.

That if I am open to it, I can see situations differently, I can see myself and my beauty differently. That the way to growth of all kinds for me is about being open and unafraid. That I am ready to embrace my softer side.
It has been a long time since I have posted photos of myself. I have avoided being photographed in general for a while now. I have believed that the only way I could look beautiful was to have major photo manipulation that i just have no clue how to do. The photographs Denise took of me showed me a side of myself that I often feel uncomfortable with-the natural-soft-sexy side. I have spent days looking at these photos she took, over and over-each time becoming more comfortable with what I see. Each time feeling my core becoming stronger. My self love become truer. This was such an amazing gift, having her photograph me. I feel like all the beautiful things I took from these three days shines through and is reinforced by these photos.

And last but not least, how important it is to take care of yourself, with gentleness, honor, respect and trust. For this their is no better teacher and role model for me than Denise.