3/31/2008






{this is my previous post edited}
Part of my hesitation in writing about my experience with Denise has been my own reactions to reading about other amazing woman get togethers. A degree of longing is often stirred in me, whether it is for an opportunity to be with that friend, a chance to connect and bond with a person I admire or relate to, or even sometimes just to feel a part of. I often want to know more about what specifically made it so amazing, what revelations were made, what lessons learned, what parts of the people were enforced or even shifted. These are all very tough things to express in words, at least for me, so I was brought to tears when I read Denise describing our time together on her blog { here }. I feel she put the experience into words better than I ever could.

So all I can add is some of the revelations I had, the lessons I learned, the parts in me that were enforced and shifted.

Revelations:
When you connect with your photographic subject in a deep soulful way-that beauty and joy shared between you comes through in the picture. When I write this it seems obvious, at least to me, but I never really had it reinforced in such a way. Living with a three year old and with my busy mind often distracts me. My experience with Denise allowed me to see this clearer, and I have since taken both still life photos and photos of my son, where I was more concious of being centered and allowing the connection with my subjects to build and be present.

That I needed to go deeply into the emotions of my fertility journey with Denise just to feel and acknowledge them, to honor them and to let them go. That where I am today about it {enjoying my son and not trying any more}, is just where I need to be.

Lessons, enforcements and shifts:
That it is common to be tempted as an artist to be guided by what you think your audience wants; to strive for outward approval. The artists I admire and strive to be like, attract me because they have chosen to rely on their inner guide, and their own approval that comes from following their creativity. The lesson I learned by talking to Denise about my art was that if I follow my bliss and block out all the rest I will be the happiest and most satisfied artist I can be.

That if I am open to it, I can see situations differently, I can see myself and my beauty differently. That the way to growth of all kinds for me is about being open and unafraid. That I am ready to embrace my softer side.
It has been a long time since I have posted photos of myself. I have avoided being photographed in general for a while now. I have believed that the only way I could look beautiful was to have major photo manipulation that i just have no clue how to do. The photographs Denise took of me showed me a side of myself that I often feel uncomfortable with-the natural-soft-sexy side. I have spent days looking at these photos she took, over and over-each time becoming more comfortable with what I see. Each time feeling my core becoming stronger. My self love become truer. This was such an amazing gift, having her photograph me. I feel like all the beautiful things I took from these three days shines through and is reinforced by these photos.

And last but not least, how important it is to take care of yourself, with gentleness, honor, respect and trust. For this their is no better teacher and role model for me than Denise.

15 Comments:

Blogger bee said...

i can't wait to read the rest of this story..... :)

3/31/2008 5:46 PM  
Blogger PixieDust said...

I just saw your beautiful image on Boho girl's blog, and realized it has been far too long since I've left a comment... the delight I feel when two soul-sisters meet is overwhelming... I am happy beyond words for both of you...

:-)

3/31/2008 6:39 PM  
Blogger Melba said...

I want to hear more, but I know how it is. My little ones need to go to bed.

3/31/2008 9:26 PM  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

i've read this many times and the tears just won't stop flowing. how i love you so. how beautiful it was to help one another unfold all these mysteries that were deep within us all along but we were unable to embrace them fully. what a gift this time was for me, for us together as friends and as artists.

to read your words and hear your inner strength and confidence is providing me with more inner strength and confidence.

i am here...along side you...to continue to flow into bliss.

i am so looking forward to seeing those photos of your son so that i can witness this shift you are sharing with us. next is your husband. *wink, wink*

i love you...toe to toe.

xoxo

4/01/2008 10:24 AM  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

You are beautiful...and so are your words!
Love,
D.

4/01/2008 12:33 PM  
Blogger Kirsten Michelle said...

i love that the two of you made the time for this beautiful connection. i thank you for sharing so eloquently a part of your experience here.
love to you,
xo

4/01/2008 3:04 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

all of this is beautiful.

Every time I see a picture of you, I always think how beautiful you are! Isn't funny how we see ourselves? I rarely feel beautiful anymore, even if others tell me I am.

:)

4/01/2008 3:51 PM  
Blogger daisies said...

so glad to hear and see that you had a wonderful experience ~ and that you are taking care of yourself, xo

beautiful photos honey ...

4/01/2008 4:07 PM  
Blogger pERiWinKle said...

i'm so happy that you are seeing...and feeling...and sensing...and experiencing just HOW beautiful you are! xx

4/01/2008 6:08 PM  
Blogger Frida said...

your portraits of each other almost say it all - the beauty of real connection and love. xoxo

4/01/2008 7:12 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

every one should have a friendship like that. there is some powerful stuff in these words. and i want you to know that i think your beauty goes so much further than simply skin deep. you often write things that strike a very deep chord in me--especially about creating art.

thank you for that, dear thea. and i've been meaning to tell you, your new banner is stunning! :)

4/03/2008 9:48 AM  
Blogger jenica said...

your revelations mean a lot to me. thanks so much for sharing them. i'm so happy to see this love-fest and the complete contentment that it brought to both of your souls. you so deserve one another!

(((hugs)))

4/03/2008 3:58 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

it was hard for me to just get past the pictures...

from there, I was already misty...I know too well what being with Denise is like...

...it's magical :)

xo
love to you
d

4/03/2008 4:29 PM  
Blogger Jacks said...

*lovely

your photography is beautiful, so simple and yet captivating

4/04/2008 1:40 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I am amazed at both of you lovely ladies and your pictures. :)

4/06/2008 2:23 AM  

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