I know I am slow, really slow sometimes when it comes to paying attention to names etc.

I always loved The song Rehab. My son and I belt it out in the car-it is on a mixed cd my amazing brother in law gave us for xmas. I just yesterday-saw Amy winehouse singing in concert on tv, and made the connection. LOL. I am lame.

Anyway I just bought her album off itunes and can I say I LOVE her voice and the music! The lyrics-not so much-but for once I could care less. I am so in an Amy Winehouse appreciation mode.

My numbers yesterday SU*$ed the big one.

My beta went up from 1900+ to 2000+ a whole whopping 100 points in 2 days. So not only am I like 10 days behind but now it actually is 12 and instead of doubling it went up 100 points. Can I say I feel doomed? Also came a cross an article that said slow rising betas even when a heartbeat is seen has 90% chance of miscarrying.

So what about Dr, Miracle? What about all that hope crap I spoke of? Well I am still taking the meds, and will go in Wed probably for bw and u/s again. That will definitely tell a lot. I call my Dr., Dr. Miracle because he is so perfect for me and my personality, not because i think he performs miracles. He is fabulous and I have my son because of him, and my friend who is now 40 is about to have her second after going to him-after dissing a reputable clinic that didn't work for her.

Let me tell you my plan. IF this pregnancy fails I am going to train for the Womens Freihoffers (sp?) here in Albany this spring. I am going to collect the most slamming, amazing, shake your booty music from my collection and make multiple playlists. I am going to dance for at least 3 songs a day starting tonight. Anyone who has been around here a while knows how much I believe that feeling happy attracts better things. What feels better than that blissful happy excited dancing in your place grooving? Now if this fails I have decided I will train my ass off running at least 4 days a week. Have you ever noticed how really really funky fast music can make you run so much longer and faster? Mind you- I will be starting off REALLY slow, but from experience it only takes about 6 running sessions until it starts getting much easier. Since I don't want to get a beer gut, and don't do drugs of any kind, endorphins will become my friend. I will run and dance my way back to the living. If any of you think you want to partner up online to be running partners/buddies email me.


Blogger mccabe said...


i dig how you are not afraid
to be where you are at.

you kick ass,
i would sit
in your cheering section
any day.

love you
mccabe x

2/23/2008 3:51 AM  
Blogger megg said...

hey you!

I made some good running mixes when I was doing the half marathon - I'll send you some!!!

Keep us posted about what's going on with you. I'll sit beside mccabe in the cheering section no matter which direction you are going!!

2/23/2008 4:14 AM  
Blogger Shaz said...

I did my dance for you last time babe even during treatment and I am dancing for you now.
Take Care sweetness you are such a trooper xxx

2/23/2008 4:21 AM  
Blogger pERiWinKle said...

why not start your dancing right now?! xx

2/23/2008 1:00 PM  
Blogger Georgia said...

Hey lovey :)

I will be an online buddy with you! Although... I am not much for the running, as it gives me asthma. So I willl be working my booty off on the elliptical and getting some sexy ass muscles with the weights.

Any music suggestions for me? Maybe we can do a funky music swap? That could be fun!

I agree with the person above me who said "why not start dancing now?" Everyone could use a big chunk of happy in their lives, you totally deserve that too. Right now!


2/23/2008 1:37 PM  
Blogger brittany said...

dude, let's run. shake that bootie and let's run.

2/23/2008 8:41 PM  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

you are totally tapping into your power. i can feel it.


love you.

2/23/2008 11:44 PM  
Blogger bee said...

oh, thea baby, i love you.

i've been following, mostly quietly (because i feel like i've needed to catch up, fully, and i haven't got to that point yet) and then i realized how silly i was being because i wanted you to know how much i'm supporting you.

you are just so incredible, to me. i want to give you lots and lots of hugs, which i am, and i'll also be your virtual running buddy, if you want.


2/26/2008 8:54 PM  

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