First Vlog

I am posting this vlog even though I feel like a dork. I am committed to getting as much work done today as possible, so I didn't give in to my urge to get a better angle, think of something more eloquent to say, etc. Just putting it out there.

Inspired by Denise
Philosophers Notes


November is here, and like each year since my mother passed (7years ago this past March) as her birthday approaches (nov 21) and the days get shorter, I feel sadness rising inside like smoke from a smothered fire.

It amazes me that the sadness and ache can be so strong.

My closest friend from childhood, called this week to tell me that her mother just told her they found a white spot on her chest xray. I feel all tumbly inside. can't even make sense of the feelings.

Some resentment comes up for me too, towards myself, about how much I took for granted my mothers motherly, unconditional love. Although limited in some ways by her personality- her interest in me, interest on a level that only a mother could have for her child was such a gift. What a treasure, a mother's love. The knowing that someone loves you more than anything, and wants what is best for you more than anyone. It feels so petty and selfish to want such things, but I do.

I am so missing her...


Channeling my creative force...

oiy I am mentally all over the place here. I love the awareness that I crave creative expression, yet practically it has dawned on me that there needs to be space for that to expand, and come through.

So it is a bit much for me to plan on taking creative photographs every day and to post here about it.

So more modification to the portfolio project:

1. daily writing for sure, as this is definitely helping me to channel my creative force. Firstly by helping me to plan better and to get more efficient with work and life so that I have room for the creativity I crave.

daily writing to take the form of one of the following
a) morning pages
b)writing here
c)writing on business blog

I am going to give this 3 day cycle a shot.

This is really giving me the opportunity to accept that often ideas do not come out 100% right away. That it is ok to not be perfect, AND that I need practice in what I can and cannot take on in my life, and that what I take on should be adding to the quality of my life not making me stresssed.


Ahhh I missed a day already!!

Damn cold. I am still feeling pretty yucky from a cold all three of us got last week. It started with an itchy throat and then went to the chest and runny nose. Now I have this cough - feels like some yucky stuff going on in my chest. Scratchy throat is back and I look and feel run down and tired!

Seems like many many people are getting same thing- adults and kids. I am shocked that i have been sick twice already this fall. I rarely get sick. I think stress may be a factor? Just from being so stretched/busy.

Probably didn't help that last night I went trick or treating with my boy wearing a long tshirt-only to get caught in the pouring rain about 4 blocks from our friends house and our car. I can't remember the last time I felt that physically miserable. Luckily our boy had a blast despite it being cut short by the rain.