So all in all things are good but I am in a pissy mood. Loving my son deeply and madly yet ready to scream he can get me so frustrated sometimes-especially with hours and hours of whining and crying about every little non existant thing.
Well I am on my way to book club/wine drinking with some of my girlfriends. Boy do I need it:)
SPC ~ what I wear ~ Strength
I have mentioned many times how much I love Deb Talen and the Weepies. I wish I could explain how the lyrics encourage me, inspire me, make me brave, make me cry. I just adore them.
Yesterday I felt a bit blue-the weather was cold and rainy. I had a lot of work to do and little energy. It is always rough when I don't have the regular child care/break. It always catches up with me. Last week there was no school and then we were away for the holiday.
Anyway-this am as I was working and listening to Deb Talen-I decided I would make myself some fun rings to wear something that when I look at will remind me of the things I sometimes need reminding of.
I wore this one today, it made me so happy. It is chunky, colorful and makes me think of my favorite music. What could be better?
I have listed some extras in my shoppe.
*****This second one sold quickly. I was sooooooo tempted to relist it right away but that is what gets me in trouble-listing before things are ready...so tonight I will work on some more of these and list them hopefully tomorrow.****
You can bank on it.
You have so much more to look forward to, Thea, than you can now possibly imagine... just keep moving.
Can I tell you how much I love the notes from the universe. Fabulous!
I am trying to post every day-but it is super hard:)
Yesterday I spent the morning packing up and taking pics of some new items for my shoppe. Before I knew it it was time to leave for my stepfathers house for dinner.
My husband peeked his head in to my studio at one point to say hi. hee hee.
I am feeling a bit of a rough and tumble time right now. I keep wondering if Mars being in retrograde-and I think my mars is in Aries? anyway.....
I don't feel focused. This morning I took a few minutes of meditation and noticed how antsy I felt.
I just wanted to drop in and say I am so grateful and thankful for YOU. Connecting with you through this blogging community lifts me up, gives me clarity, challenges me both mentally and emotionally, affirms and makes me feel Joy. Thank you:)
SPC ~ What I wear
I am almost caught up on orders. My postoffice duffel is filled and ready for the post tomorrow. Plenty of new pendant pics are printed and I am of to sleep. I was going to post some of these new pendants in the store but I am trying to stick to my plan of only listing things once they are packed and ready to be shipped if purchased. I still have to pick all the little details for these to stick to that. So as hard as it is. I will wait...but I thought I would give a sneak peak.
One of the things I have been wanting to do but haven't had the time is to use texture layers more when editing my photos. I love the complexity it gives the pictures. This evening I needed a boost so I took a break to create a few textures and then played around with this photo.
About a month ago with my life coach we were hashing out some of the details of one of my goals: to make 3,000 a month in sales. She was asking me how many items that would have to be. I see now that the opportunity was then presented for me to look at my worth/value for my time, but all I could focus on was being affirmed for my art and feeling wanted. So I decided to lower my prices on prints and to list my new chunky necklaces for lower than I would have initially. The material costs are the same as my sterling square pendants.
So what happened? My sales went up. Maybe due to marketing maybe due to lowered prices, In conjunction with my upcoming party it made me very strapped for time. I am a one woman show. In the past weeks I have lost a sense of reflection because there just isn't the time. I feel rushed and a lack of creative time weighs heavily on my mind. I spoke to my husband yesterday about all of this. How I feel so wiped out and to be frank a bit overwhelmed.
I told my life coach in the first few sessions that affirmation and acknowledgement is very important. I am competitive with myself. I pay little attention to others accomplishments unless of course they have received an acknowledgement that I have been striving for and have failed to achieve yet. Then it makes me try harder.
The thing is - I do not have the time as a one woman show with a 2 1/2 year old at home to pump out tons and tons of product at the low prices I have set. I also see that what is important to me-quality-detail-giving each piece energy by wearing it-wrapping it in a beautiful unique package with the meaning behind the piece, adds value to my work and takes time. I need to factor this into my prices. To continue to feed my creativity, grow as a photographer and artist I need time. Beautiful Liz posted a meditation a long while ago about creating space around your heart. All the possibility that comes with that space. The insight, the beauty, the gifts.
So what I saw about this jewelry party I had was that it was focusing a lot of energy on selling my product. And that with everything else going on I didn't have the time to package and present the soul of each piece. I hung them from pegs on velvet covered boards-all alone-without the love and reflection of the meaning cards, magnet cards and beautiful wrappings they are usually surrounded by. It took away a lot of the beauty-a lot of the meaning-for me at least.
At the beginning of the party there were 2 women that wanted complex custom orders-which took my time and left me unable to introduce my work to the party goers. This meant that not only were my pieces hanging alone out in the wind-but I didn't present them verbally either. Side note-I have mentioned in the past my guilt of throwing out banana peels or other garbage outside of my home-for concern that they will feel lonely. I have to say there is a similar feeling about my jewelry pieces at the party that night. For a long time I hid this type of thing in my personality-thinking I will be percieved as flaky-but you know what? I am ready to claim it-to embrace it-to wear it proud-because it is a part of me-and thanks to so many of you and the wonderful people I have come across lately -there are people who get that. And as I start valueing this in my self I start to see it in others as well.
So I raised my prices a little-and may raise them again. Writing this post I have decided I will no longer make custom pieces for the masses. I will offer the wholesale prices and custom work to other artists that want to offer their work in wearable pieces.
I want to sell to people who are attracted to my energy and want to transmit that in the pieces they order-because I am sensitive to peoples energy. It can greatly affect my mood and outlook. This business is really about my heart and soul and expressing it and giving little pieces of it to others. I want each customer I have to get that and buy from me because of it.
This feels so good to write this out. It is so rewarding to see the past few weeks of feeling like a chicken with my head cut off has helped me hone my vision, see what I really want to create.
When I got my website, my husband had said that I shouldn't link to this blog because it is too personal to present to my customers. I see now that I should link to this blog because this is me and this business is really about all that I write here. It is about what I value-what I feel-what I want to share.
I guess I didn't need to write out the craziness of a typical recent day to get to the core of this. I just needed to write.
Thank you for hearing me.
way too much time and energy for too little money.
I am uner the weather-I have a post nasal drip and strange cough that has been keeping me up nights.
I pushed way too hard these past 2 weeks. I need a day or so of rest.
I have a lot of reflecting I need to write out so I will check in tomorrow.
Late this am I sent in Bounty, Cotton Candy and Carousel to Trunkt.
and just now I got this:
Date: Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:27:26 -0500
Subject: Welcome to Trunkt!
We're very excited to welcome you as a member of Trunkt.
Please login to upload new images and add marketing information to your new portfolio.
We hope you will take some time to explore Trunkt and make the most of what we offer. Thanks!
The Team at Trunkt
Can you see me dancing around? Whoot whooting!
Man this really took some bravery on my part-facing rejection in the eye-reapplying. Thanks lovelies for all of your love and support. All of you that offered a comment and encouragement get a necklace. Send me your pick of picture and email email@example.com
I triple double dare all of you to do something Brave- the results may not come immediately but if you keep being Brave I am sure good things will happen. Please check back and let me know when you do.
I have the jewelry party tonight and I have a lot to do-so I will get the necklaces out by next week.
Hugs and love
with a wiggle and a jiggle and lots of smiles.
I decided to email TRUNKT the following:
Hello-I know you don't automatically issue explanations to your rejections, but I was hoping maybe you could make an acception. I have applied 3 times and each time have been rejected and I was hoping for some feedback as to what is is about my stuff that doesn't fit. Price? Quality? Style ( I am not sure here since there are other ttv artists on trunkt-I thought making jewelry from my photographs was a unique spin)?. I am new to this business and respect that people have their own tastes and not everyone will like my stuff. I also know I have a lot of room to grow as an artist. I just love your site, connect with many of your artists, and would love to know how I am seen by your judging staff. Thank you for your consideration.Warmly,Thea Coughlin
and got this response:
Thea - your photography prints are beautiful. Jewelry is a ridiculously competitive category. My hint would be to apply with just your photography prints. Our jury likes to see focus...Best,(very nice lady at trunkt:) name with held.
So folks I get to send 3 pics to them. Send me your suggestions. I am planning on emailing them early this afternoon and would love to get your ideas. The jury likes to see focus-does that suggest I send all ttv photos or all non ttv photographs?
Well folks I was rejected again by Trunkt. Will I never learn. LOL. I wish I could see my work objectively better so I wouldn't apply to places that won't be attracted to my work. It is a learning process. I did get some good links to some sites that may be more in line with my stuff.
I guess for now I will wait until after the holidays.
The one thing I am keeping in mind about the rejection is that it made me feel a bit like I may not be expressing myself fully as an artist. Maybe my stuff is too simple-too bland to be accepted to these funky chic sites. Now if the style that comes from my heart doesn't fit some places, that is super cool, but what i noticed was I want them to judge me based on ideas I have in my head that I just haven't had time to create yet. I am getting busy which I absolutely love but it does leave less time for experimenting with my art and photography as I would like to.
So I am embracing the busy holiday shopping season. Keep relisting what I have made already and leave the new creations to idea journals to be looked at in the new year.
There is great opportunity in rejection. I am trying to take the time to find it so I can plow ahead and keep creating the bountiful life I want.
What I wear ~ SPC
BE BRAVE- you may be pleasantly surprised by the results.
I am so busy that these things have been sitting in the spare bedroom waiting to be photographed-haven't gotten time yet.
Today has been a strange day. Today I see how I could be considered strange.
We have been watching the new show "tell me you love me" on HBO this season. There is a woman on the show that struggled getting pregnant. She didn't tell people about it-she kept it to herself. I am quite different than this. I am a very open person-I have tried to learn to contain it in appropriate situations. I am the woman in the fertility office waiting room that strikes up conversations-if you have ever been to a fertility clinic this isn't common. I usually would begin by opening up first.
I wear my emotions on my face. It is torture for me to try to put a face on to people I interact with every day. I feel blessed to have very deep friendships with people both in person and online who get me and accept this about me.
So many women will wait for 12 weeks-my friend who miscarried twice didn't tell her mother she was pregnant until she was 15 weeks. I completely understand the reasoning and protectiveness that goes along with that. I am different. One of my dearest friends will sometimes complain to me about people who readily complain to associates at her work. I always remind her I am that way too. Somehow she can deal with it from me.
So when I get a slight positive on a pregnancy test-the first thing I do is get on the phone. I am a talker. I need to talk things through over and over. I talked to 7 people on the phone about it yesterday and then emailed a bunch more. When my husband got home - he asked me who I told and I replied "everyone". He said did you blog about it. I said no not yet:)
So when I spoke to some of the people I told on the phone today-I noticed that even though they are so close to me-and know me well-they didn't know what to say about the test being negative. I found it so endearing. I mean I have been calling these people about most of the steps in this 5 year journey of focusing on trying to have a baby. It is almost unbelievable-even to me that I could be "ONE OF THEM= someone who gets pregnant by accident-who didn't want to be pregnant". So most of them said "I don't know what to say" and I realized that maybe some of you-my internet buddies feel the same way.
I didn't explain much in the post-mostly because I am so exhausted from doing little business things with every spare moment I have. I am trying to pull back but the drive is so strong.
I love playing with my son, and cooking, and oh so much, but I am running the clock.
I am stretched. Self inflicted, yes, but stretched to the max. Is it good? I don't know-I don't think it is the best, though it is helping me let go of trying to have a baby. It gives me a reason to stop trying so damn hard to do what is biologically normal/expected. It allows me to start feeling productive and fertile again. It is helping erase the years of drain that fertility inflicted upon me. I am a tough boss-I am trying to prove to myself that I am worthy of self love-self acceptance. That I can possibly not go back to teaching and stay home with my son-even if I don't have another baby. The trick-the issue-the challenge, is that at the rate I am pushing is too hard and I desperately need to slow down a little. I am just not sure if I can. The loss in March really really did me in. I am pretty relilient but it came close to being the straw that broke this camels back.
So - in many many ways there is relief that this pregnancy didn't make it out of the starting gate. Having a balanced translocation really pins the odds against me-and I am sick of facing the wrong side of those odds. I need to find my balance again. But the nagging voice of failure can't help but get a few jabs in on my psyche. Once again, biologically, I have failed.
I am so excited-I found a new way to make pendants. This one is about 3 inches by 2 inches. It really makes a statement.
I have a few orders to get out forst but later today I will be listing this one in my shop along with a few other new chunky funky bezel pendants.
My son had a much better day yesterday at school. He cried a lot when I left him but they said it was his best day yet, which thrilled me.
I have been feeling pretty nauseous the past few days, so yesterday I took a pregnancy test that came up slightly positive. I had such a mix of emotions which based on my history of many many miscarriages (I think I have forgotten how many-7 if I am remembering) included-"this will be such a bad time to have a miscarriage". This am I took another test and it was barely discernable so maybe it was a fluke. I will wait a few days and see what happens.
Update**** took another test this afternoon-an early early test and it was starkly negative. Who would have thunk it? Anyway-I am relieved. I think my body and mind needs more recovery time before facing another pregnancy.
Thank you for your warm wishes and thoughts-always appreciatedXO
I also got some LARGE prints for my show in december. I am so impressed with how beautiful they came out. I can't wait to get them printed.
I was clapping and doing a dance when I opened them. Something about seeing the pics in print vs the computer screen transforms them.
Well I feel the chrsitmas rush starting. I will still post here every day but I am going to have to cut down my blog reading time a bit. I will still be around just a little less.
Sunday Scribblings ~ Money
The past few days I have been thinking about time. I have been dedicating all my free time to my business-in hopes of making money during this prime shopping period coming up. As a result I have spent a lot less time on taking care of my body and mind.
At my inlaws last weekend I saw an article in Oprah's magazine about Dr. Oz's new book and health program. http://www2.oprah.com/health/oz/programs/young/young_main.jhtml?promocode=HP15 I have decided to take the 14 day challenge starting today.
I have a feeling that being healthier and less stressed will bring me more wealth and money than continuing to ignore it.