I got in for an ultrasound this am.
The baby's heartrate has dropped. The sac looks even smaller. Disaster. Not good. Doomed.
It sucks and I am feeling pretty sorry for myself in some ways and just keep trying to think of the good stuff. Not because I shouldn't allow the sad feelings, but because I find my anger and frustration is starting to manifest in me wanting to yell at slow drivers and saying "for fucks sake" WAY too often.
So I decided I would come here and try to write down a few things that I should be happy about.
~The sun is out
~I know all of you are sending me good energy and blessings
~I have amazing friends that take my son when I have to go to the Dr., entertain me and are always there, which helps a ton.
~I took down my second show last night, and I sold 5 framed photos and there is interest in 2 others, and I was contacted by a woman who is interested in a bulk order of larger pieces for her office.
~In the car this morning my son started laughing when I winked at him in the rear view mirror. Then he said I was funny and that daddy was funny. Thank goodness he didn't say "for fucks sake lady could you cheer up?"
~My son is napping and I can veg out on the couch.
~Some new tunes I bought off itunes. And hey I have been dancing. May not be able to muster it today but I will try.
I miss blog reading-just haven't gotten my brain back and can't seem to muster the energy.
The baby's heartrate has dropped. The sac looks even smaller. Disaster. Not good. Doomed.
It sucks and I am feeling pretty sorry for myself in some ways and just keep trying to think of the good stuff. Not because I shouldn't allow the sad feelings, but because I find my anger and frustration is starting to manifest in me wanting to yell at slow drivers and saying "for fucks sake" WAY too often.
So I decided I would come here and try to write down a few things that I should be happy about.
~The sun is out
~I know all of you are sending me good energy and blessings
~I have amazing friends that take my son when I have to go to the Dr., entertain me and are always there, which helps a ton.
~I took down my second show last night, and I sold 5 framed photos and there is interest in 2 others, and I was contacted by a woman who is interested in a bulk order of larger pieces for her office.
~In the car this morning my son started laughing when I winked at him in the rear view mirror. Then he said I was funny and that daddy was funny. Thank goodness he didn't say "for fucks sake lady could you cheer up?"
~My son is napping and I can veg out on the couch.
~Some new tunes I bought off itunes. And hey I have been dancing. May not be able to muster it today but I will try.
I miss blog reading-just haven't gotten my brain back and can't seem to muster the energy.
posted by Colorsonmymind at 1:55:00 PM
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9 Comments:
theagirl...my heart aches for you. i am sending a big hug in your direction. keep dancing, i love to turn on ellen and dance in my studio. dancing is such sweet therapy.
peace.k
i'm thinking of you, honey, and cuddling you so tight in my mind.... can you feel it? xoxo
hugs and thoughts honey
Lots of cuddles from me sweetie ~
and your spirit is shining
here as always ~
I will carry you in my heart
and thoughts today.
I'm thinking of you today. Your *happy* list is wonderful - every little bit of it.
sweetheart - I am thinking of you so much. I'd do anything to be there with you right now - know I love you.
xoxo
how amazing the views of other people and especially little ones to those of ourselves...thinking of you...sending you cuddles on the couch...xx
oh sweetie,
i only wish i knew what to say...
sending you love and hugs.
xo
k
Your son is right - you are funny. when you wrote "Thank goodness he didn't say 'for fucks sake lady could you cheer up'" I nearly spit out my coffee.
I am sending the good energy and blessings and I'm saluting you for finding a little dark humour in these hard, hard days.
x
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