I was going to wait to post this until I read up on the body theme I heard about at blogher through Jen Lemen's blog., but the day is getting away from me and I feels as though I need to get started now.

It is Sunday. The day so many people swear they will start a new healthier life tomorrow-Monday- probably the most popular start eating better day ever. I am going with it though.

The morning of the D&C I went to the grocery store "for my in laws" who were coming for the day/night to help with our little man. I noticed that I was making my way through the store very fast, because i was not editing my purchases at all. I was giving myself full reign to buy whatever I wanted without caring about anything but taste. I came back and declared that this was emotional shopping at it's best. I was planning on comforting myself and the loved ones around me with food.

So for the past few days I have been scarfing oreos like they are going out of production and I will never have another chance to eat them again. I have had those "starting a diet in a few days" thoughts that seem to propel me to eat a few extras for all the times I won't be having any in the future. This logic goes against moderation and healthy eating habits, but I have not punished myself for these thoughts. I have just noticed them.

My mother in law and I were having a conversation on Friday morning about how my husband and I have embraced the notion of celebrating our one child and letting go of any plans on trying for another one. I am tired of living in infertility mode. I am tired of feeling as hough I have to try so much harder at life. I am tired of having to try not to feel bad about , getting my period, or certain hormone levels, ultrasounds, tests etc. I have really had it. Any way my mother in law said she saw an interview with Valerie B. where she said one of her favorite quotes is " when presented with the choice, choose happiness". I clung to that quote. It is exactly what I have been feeling lately. I am making the choice.

So yesterday at Target I picked up the Valerie B. book and skimmed to the end where she talks about her Jenny Craig experience. What jumped out was how she expressed going public made her take this more seriously.

So here I am going public on my blog. I am going to get healthy. My goal is to lose 25 pounds. This morning I was 161 on the scale. WOW. I can't believe I am admitting that.

I was browsing a magazine yesterday and it had an interview with Valerie B. - is she everywhere or what? It also had a bunch of short interviews with women who had lost weight and kept it off.

Some things that stood out:

Writing in a journal when you want to eat. I will try to come here and blog, since I resist paper journals so.

Exercise. I will start training for the 5k. I will write my plans and achievements here.
I plan on starting with doing 25 minutes of walking or elliptical each day for a week starting tomorrow, just to get myself moving. I just bought myself a good exercise bra and I am waiting for it to come in the mail. You can't start running without support-especially if you are well endowed. Next week I will start the run/walk plan I have used before with great success. I will share those details here too. So if you want to join me - get yourself moving this week and in the meanwhile buy a good bra and some good sneakers. I will do the Cardio first thing in the morning in the morning to get it out of the way and done.

I need a plan- a decent plan for eating. I have thought long and hard about what will work. I have decided to try combining things so I have a manageable outlook.

I will write out what I plan on eating that day in the morning-or the night before and do my best to stick to it. My goals will be to eat whole grains, lean proteins, veggies and fruit and keep portion sizes smaller. I am extremely resistant to this part but Valerie did it so I think I will too. She said no alcohol until she reached her 25 pound loss. I am going to do the same. Oiy. Do you know how much I love to have a glass of wine with girlfriends? A margarita? A beer in the evening when I have had a long day with a whining toddler? This is huge folks.

So today I will go to the store. I plan on buying those glad disposable tupperware so that I can make 7 salads all at once to keep in the fridge. (i did this when I was in FA and it was great. Ready to eat salad ensures I will eat it. I will wash and clean all the fruit and veggies tonight so they are ready and waiting in the fridge for snacking for both me and my little man.

Dinners will be a bit challenging since my husband loves pasta and eats very few vegetables.

(can I tell you as I write this I feel a panic attack brewing? my mind is shouting-this is so embarassing-T (my husband) is going to roll his eyes-shit I am rolling my eyes I have planned on doing this so many times before-who wants to read all these freakin details? How lame am I to use my blog for this?)

Ok back to the plan: Dinners this week.

Mon: Stuffed peppers and salad
Tues: (my sons birthday) English muffin pizzas (for my guys) Grilled Cajun shrimp and broccoli
Wed: Chicken Stir fry with (egg noodles for my guys)
Thur: Chicken stir fry leftovers for me. Grilled cheese or hot dogs for guys.
Fri: Sandwich steaks-no bread for me.
Sat: (my sons birthday/dinner party with close friends) roasted chicken, potatoes, carmelized carrots, salad, rolls (not for me:)
Sun: ?

Ok I am off to go sledding. Will report in later.