Gratitude

Thanks for the tips about the sad disorder. I am going to check out teh lights. I have like a million moles and my mom had skin cancer, so the fake and bake is out for me even though I imagine it would feel toasty and good on a cold day.

So today I came across these beads I bought a while ago, and remembered what I had intended to use them for, so I decided I could use a gratitude rock today after the way I have been feeling the past few days.

Many of you know about my fascination and complete belief in The Secret/Law of attraction, as well as the only negative is that I seem to forget it sometimes.

Anyway, one of the women in the movie The Secret said something about if you are feeling bad you know your thoughts are not in alignment with what you want. Remembering this today gave me a huge sense of relief.

I made 7 gratitude stones today. They are smooth, light and perfect to fit in your pants pocket or even a small skirt pocket-or a shirt. I had one with me all day today and I must say , being grateful has changed my day. I am listing 6 now in my shoppe and will be making more soon. If you are interested in one and would prefer a different color let me know. Oh and I am also listing this ring:

Here are some parts from The Secret book that explain it a bit better.

Cresting

Today was a rough day. No real reason for it. It has been a rough couple days. The days being shorter and darker maybe it. Today I was wondering if I have that seasonal disorder-and then thought-geez is that even real. If it is and you happen to have it I would love to hear the solution. It is tough to go sit in the sun when there is no sun out. And it is cold.

So all in all things are good but I am in a pissy mood. Loving my son deeply and madly yet ready to scream he can get me so frustrated sometimes-especially with hours and hours of whining and crying about every little non existant thing.

Well I am on my way to book club/wine drinking with some of my girlfriends. Boy do I need it:)

SPC ~ what I wear ~ Strength

I have mentioned many times how much I love Deb Talen and the Weepies. I wish I could explain how the lyrics encourage me, inspire me, make me brave, make me cry. I just adore them.

Yesterday I felt a bit blue-the weather was cold and rainy. I had a lot of work to do and little energy. It is always rough when I don't have the regular child care/break. It always catches up with me. Last week there was no school and then we were away for the holiday.

Anyway-this am as I was working and listening to Deb Talen-I decided I would make myself some fun rings to wear something that when I look at will remind me of the things I sometimes need reminding of.

I wore this one today, it made me so happy. It is chunky, colorful and makes me think of my favorite music. What could be better?

I have listed some extras in my shoppe.

*****This second one sold quickly. I was sooooooo tempted to relist it right away but that is what gets me in trouble-listing before things are ready...so tonight I will work on some more of these and list them hopefully tomorrow.****

The prospect of happiness that moves you in the direction of a new dream, Thea, will always pale in comparison to the happiness you find once it comes true.
You can bank on it.
You have so much more to look forward to, Thea, than you can now possibly imagine... just keep moving.
Can I tell you how much I love the notes from the universe. Fabulous!

My bookclub is reading Into the Woods. This Wed we are going to see the movie together. I must admit that it has been a bit tough to want to keep reading. I have made it through half the book and am unmotivated to keep reading. Have any of you read it?

I just picked up The Russian Concubine, and am loving it. It feels a bit like memoirs of a geisha. This is definitely ore up my alley.

What are you reading?

I added some new 5x7 cards that have been lingering in my studio unlisted. I put them in my new shop here

The roses above are being sold individually and as a set. I also have listed the fall ttv's I took a while ago.

I am trying to post every day-but it is super hard:)

I have made a pattern of asking people for advice-needing to talk things through-sometimes ad nauseum-to know what I want to do. I am noticing a shift in this process as I still need to talk things through, but I hear my own instinctual voice louder and clearer than before. I feel more comfortable following my inner guide in this creative journey. Sometimes this scares me as my instinct goes against some advice from respected people in my life, but the discomfort that comes with following anything but this instinct seems to pervade until I settle with what it is telling me.

I have decided to separate the jewelry and photography even though it is so closely related.

My husband and I are still trying to find time to work on my website so for now I need to rely on etsy to display my work.

I like the idea of a more consistant shoppe feel for both my photos and my jewelry, so I have opened TheaCPhotography on etsy. I am slowly going to transfer all my photographs over to that etsy and leave Monarch as a jewelry store. This feels right. Some of you may have noticed I have fooled around a lot with the pricing of my photographs the past few weeks. I finally feel comfortable (for now:) with the prices I have set in my new photo esty shoppe.

There are and have been so many times during this business and creative journey where I feel like I am balancing on a steep cliff on just one toe and the tips of my fingers on one hand. Sometimes I just want someoine to swoop in and carry me to solid ground, but I can't seem to let go of the little places I have nestled into. All the little nooks I have traversed already pop into my mind and I decide to journey on. Then a slightly wider edge presents itself giving me a momentary rest before I reach for the next footing.Thank you for cheering me on, it really makes a huge difference.

Happy day after Thanksgiving!

Yesterday I spent the morning packing up and taking pics of some new items for my shoppe. Before I knew it it was time to leave for my stepfathers house for dinner.

My husband peeked his head in to my studio at one point to say hi. hee hee.

I am feeling a bit of a rough and tumble time right now. I keep wondering if Mars being in retrograde-and I think my mars is in Aries? anyway.....

I don't feel focused. This morning I took a few minutes of meditation and noticed how antsy I felt.

I just wanted to drop in and say I am so grateful and thankful for YOU. Connecting with you through this blogging community lifts me up, gives me clarity, challenges me both mentally and emotionally, affirms and makes me feel Joy. Thank you:)

SPC ~ What I wear

Here I am wearing one of my new experiments. Photo pendants without bezels. I am soooooo loving wearing these large light pieces, they are so fun:)



I am almost caught up on orders. My postoffice duffel is filled and ready for the post tomorrow. Plenty of new pendant pics are printed and I am of to sleep. I was going to post some of these new pendants in the store but I am trying to stick to my plan of only listing things once they are packed and ready to be shipped if purchased. I still have to pick all the little details for these to stick to that. So as hard as it is. I will wait...but I thought I would give a sneak peak.
One of the things I have been wanting to do but haven't had the time is to use texture layers more when editing my photos. I love the complexity it gives the pictures. This evening I needed a boost so I took a break to create a few textures and then played around with this photo.

And here is a pendant with a picture I took a few months ago and never looked at. I like the colors here. Orange is one of my favs.

A day

Since this blog has enabled me to process so many things by writing I thought this am I would write out a typical day lately just to get some perspective. You see the power of attraction is mind blowing and it makes me think of the "cliche" be careful what you wish for. Not in a doom and gloom sense but in the sense that you may not realize at first what comes along with what it is you are creating.

About a month ago with my life coach we were hashing out some of the details of one of my goals: to make 3,000 a month in sales. She was asking me how many items that would have to be. I see now that the opportunity was then presented for me to look at my worth/value for my time, but all I could focus on was being affirmed for my art and feeling wanted. So I decided to lower my prices on prints and to list my new chunky necklaces for lower than I would have initially. The material costs are the same as my sterling square pendants.

So what happened? My sales went up. Maybe due to marketing maybe due to lowered prices, In conjunction with my upcoming party it made me very strapped for time. I am a one woman show. In the past weeks I have lost a sense of reflection because there just isn't the time. I feel rushed and a lack of creative time weighs heavily on my mind. I spoke to my husband yesterday about all of this. How I feel so wiped out and to be frank a bit overwhelmed.

I told my life coach in the first few sessions that affirmation and acknowledgement is very important. I am competitive with myself. I pay little attention to others accomplishments unless of course they have received an acknowledgement that I have been striving for and have failed to achieve yet. Then it makes me try harder.

The thing is - I do not have the time as a one woman show with a 2 1/2 year old at home to pump out tons and tons of product at the low prices I have set. I also see that what is important to me-quality-detail-giving each piece energy by wearing it-wrapping it in a beautiful unique package with the meaning behind the piece, adds value to my work and takes time. I need to factor this into my prices. To continue to feed my creativity, grow as a photographer and artist I need time. Beautiful Liz posted a meditation a long while ago about creating space around your heart. All the possibility that comes with that space. The insight, the beauty, the gifts.

So what I saw about this jewelry party I had was that it was focusing a lot of energy on selling my product. And that with everything else going on I didn't have the time to package and present the soul of each piece. I hung them from pegs on velvet covered boards-all alone-without the love and reflection of the meaning cards, magnet cards and beautiful wrappings they are usually surrounded by. It took away a lot of the beauty-a lot of the meaning-for me at least.

At the beginning of the party there were 2 women that wanted complex custom orders-which took my time and left me unable to introduce my work to the party goers. This meant that not only were my pieces hanging alone out in the wind-but I didn't present them verbally either. Side note-I have mentioned in the past my guilt of throwing out banana peels or other garbage outside of my home-for concern that they will feel lonely. I have to say there is a similar feeling about my jewelry pieces at the party that night. For a long time I hid this type of thing in my personality-thinking I will be percieved as flaky-but you know what? I am ready to claim it-to embrace it-to wear it proud-because it is a part of me-and thanks to so many of you and the wonderful people I have come across lately -there are people who get that. And as I start valueing this in my self I start to see it in others as well.

So I raised my prices a little-and may raise them again. Writing this post I have decided I will no longer make custom pieces for the masses. I will offer the wholesale prices and custom work to other artists that want to offer their work in wearable pieces.

I want to sell to people who are attracted to my energy and want to transmit that in the pieces they order-because I am sensitive to peoples energy. It can greatly affect my mood and outlook. This business is really about my heart and soul and expressing it and giving little pieces of it to others. I want each customer I have to get that and buy from me because of it.

This feels so good to write this out. It is so rewarding to see the past few weeks of feeling like a chicken with my head cut off has helped me hone my vision, see what I really want to create.

When I got my website, my husband had said that I shouldn't link to this blog because it is too personal to present to my customers. I see now that I should link to this blog because this is me and this business is really about all that I write here. It is about what I value-what I feel-what I want to share.

I guess I didn't need to write out the craziness of a typical recent day to get to the core of this. I just needed to write.

Thank you for hearing me.

Namaste

I am dropping in quickly to say hi. I learned a ton from the party-the most important-that doing parties and being a saleswoman are not for me-while conn3ecting with someone who is touched by my pieces is.

way too much time and energy for too little money.

I am uner the weather-I have a post nasal drip and strange cough that has been keeping me up nights.

I pushed way too hard these past 2 weeks. I need a day or so of rest.

I have a lot of reflecting I need to write out so I will check in tomorrow.

Namaste

Being Brave

Thanks for all the ideas

Late this am I sent in Bounty, Cotton Candy and Carousel to Trunkt.

and just now I got this:

Date: Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:27:26 -0500
From: info@trunkt.com>
To: thea@theacoughlin.com
Subject: Welcome to Trunkt!

We're very excited to welcome you as a member of Trunkt.
Please login to upload new images and add marketing information to your new portfolio.
We hope you will take some time to explore Trunkt and make the most of what we offer. Thanks!

The Team at Trunkt


Can you see me dancing around? Whoot whooting!

Man this really took some bravery on my part-facing rejection in the eye-reapplying. Thanks lovelies for all of your love and support. All of you that offered a comment and encouragement get a necklace. Send me your pick of picture and email thea@theacoughlin.com

I triple double dare all of you to do something Brave- the results may not come immediately but if you keep being Brave I am sure good things will happen. Please check back and let me know when you do.

I have the jewelry party tonight and I have a lot to do-so I will get the necklaces out by next week.

Hugs and love
with a wiggle and a jiggle and lots of smiles.
XOXO

There is so much going on that my thoughts are just everywhere. I am really trying to stick to posting everyday and the "be brave" challenge so here are some fragmented things, it is the best I can do:)

I decided to email TRUNKT the following:

Hello-I know you don't automatically issue explanations to your rejections, but I was hoping maybe you could make an acception. I have applied 3 times and each time have been rejected and I was hoping for some feedback as to what is is about my stuff that doesn't fit. Price? Quality? Style ( I am not sure here since there are other ttv artists on trunkt-I thought making jewelry from my photographs was a unique spin)?. I am new to this business and respect that people have their own tastes and not everyone will like my stuff. I also know I have a lot of room to grow as an artist. I just love your site, connect with many of your artists, and would love to know how I am seen by your judging staff. Thank you for your consideration.Warmly,Thea Coughlin

and got this response:
Thea - your photography prints are beautiful. Jewelry is a ridiculously competitive category. My hint would be to apply with just your photography prints. Our jury likes to see focus...Best,(very nice lady at trunkt:) name with held.

So folks I get to send 3 pics to them. Send me your suggestions. I am planning on emailing them early this afternoon and would love to get your ideas. The jury likes to see focus-does that suggest I send all ttv photos or all non ttv photographs?

or you could just vote for the combos below.

The first 5 people who reply with three-just three suggestions that should be submitted together, will get one of my new plastic pendants with the photo of their choice. Please be sure to email me your address to thea@theacoughlin.com

Nailed

Yeah I have been getting up at 3:30-3:45 the past few nights and passing out between 8:45 and 9:30 at night. Definitely encouraged by the fact that when I was getting up at 5:00 my son started to get up at 6:15-6:30 leaving me no time at all for work.

Well folks I was rejected again by Trunkt. Will I never learn. LOL. I wish I could see my work objectively better so I wouldn't apply to places that won't be attracted to my work. It is a learning process. I did get some good links to some sites that may be more in line with my stuff.

I guess for now I will wait until after the holidays.

The one thing I am keeping in mind about the rejection is that it made me feel a bit like I may not be expressing myself fully as an artist. Maybe my stuff is too simple-too bland to be accepted to these funky chic sites. Now if the style that comes from my heart doesn't fit some places, that is super cool, but what i noticed was I want them to judge me based on ideas I have in my head that I just haven't had time to create yet. I am getting busy which I absolutely love but it does leave less time for experimenting with my art and photography as I would like to.

So I am embracing the busy holiday shopping season. Keep relisting what I have made already and leave the new creations to idea journals to be looked at in the new year.

There is great opportunity in rejection. I am trying to take the time to find it so I can plow ahead and keep creating the bountiful life I want.

What I wear ~ SPC

This picture is of me last year, while having a garage sale in October. I am using this pic because it captures a lot of what I wear on most days.

~The slightly pursed mouth, tense slightly raised upper lip I get when annoyed, stressed or concentrating. All my near and dear know this look and often laugh when it is caught on video or in a pic.

~Thi red vest. It was my mothers. I wear this vest a lot, and often with things it doesn't match, but I don't care. My mom had this vest when I was a small child and wore it alot around the house. We used to heat with woodstove and often in the morning it was chilly in the ouse. She would wear it over her long cotton white nightgowns. This was a big staple for her for at least 20 years. It is a sierra vest and has stood up to the tests of time.

~The pearls-have to admit am not wearing them as much lately, but they were my moms favorite earrings. She wore them almost every day the few months before her death. My mother would always wear jewelry before giving it as a gift - to put her energy and love into it before giving it to a loved one. She has passed this belief that objects hold energy to me. This is something I would hope all of my customers knew when they buy one of my pieces. I almost always wear a peice once before cleaning and wrapping it up. Just to send some energy with it.

~Hat- the past year or so I started wearing hats. I seem to wear hats when I feel spunky, fun and good about myself. This hat is from Target and I think it is oh so cute.

Side note-I really have no business blogging since I have my jewelry partythe day after tomorrow and I am no where near ready. I love leaving things to the last minute often because I function much better in crunch time.

Oh and to be brave today I reapplied to trunkt. That is a third time folks:)

Yesterday I did two brave things with wonderful results.

1. I emailed Jena after she rejected my work for modish shoppe, asking for some detailed feedback. I was super happy and relieved by her generous and long response.

2. I asked a blogger I had sent a gift to if she would mind mentioning my jewelry on her blog. She said yes!

BE BRAVE- you may be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Don't you just want to snuggle up to these? They remind me of fuzzy slippers or a blanket. I came across them today on a much needed walk on my own, encouraged by my darling friends who give me great advice. Thanks girls:)

Well my son and I and now my husband have our first school/winter colds. It has made me extra sleepy the past few days.

I have slowly reorganized my studio and added a large shipping prep table in the spare bedroom to help me stay a bit more organized during the holiday rush. I iwll post the before pics. The after pics are still a bit rough-meaning it feels organized to me but pictures wouldn't look quite so. maybe for tomorrows post.

I finally got my inventory counted measured and organized. I have a lot of new materials. I have listed a few new bezel settings for custom pendants as well as a few of the necklaces I showed you last week.

Phew. I am pooped. Off to have a cup of tea.

I am so busy that these things have been sitting in the spare bedroom waiting to be photographed-haven't gotten time yet.

"There's always a deeper reason, Thea, for the emotions you feel, the doubts you have, the questions you raise, and the fears you entertain.
It's called "Wanting it all."
What a system, huh? "
~ The Universe

Today has been a strange day. Today I see how I could be considered strange.

We have been watching the new show "tell me you love me" on HBO this season. There is a woman on the show that struggled getting pregnant. She didn't tell people about it-she kept it to herself. I am quite different than this. I am a very open person-I have tried to learn to contain it in appropriate situations. I am the woman in the fertility office waiting room that strikes up conversations-if you have ever been to a fertility clinic this isn't common. I usually would begin by opening up first.

I wear my emotions on my face. It is torture for me to try to put a face on to people I interact with every day. I feel blessed to have very deep friendships with people both in person and online who get me and accept this about me.

So many women will wait for 12 weeks-my friend who miscarried twice didn't tell her mother she was pregnant until she was 15 weeks. I completely understand the reasoning and protectiveness that goes along with that. I am different. One of my dearest friends will sometimes complain to me about people who readily complain to associates at her work. I always remind her I am that way too. Somehow she can deal with it from me.

So when I get a slight positive on a pregnancy test-the first thing I do is get on the phone. I am a talker. I need to talk things through over and over. I talked to 7 people on the phone about it yesterday and then emailed a bunch more. When my husband got home - he asked me who I told and I replied "everyone". He said did you blog about it. I said no not yet:)

So when I spoke to some of the people I told on the phone today-I noticed that even though they are so close to me-and know me well-they didn't know what to say about the test being negative. I found it so endearing. I mean I have been calling these people about most of the steps in this 5 year journey of focusing on trying to have a baby. It is almost unbelievable-even to me that I could be "ONE OF THEM= someone who gets pregnant by accident-who didn't want to be pregnant". So most of them said "I don't know what to say" and I realized that maybe some of you-my internet buddies feel the same way.

I didn't explain much in the post-mostly because I am so exhausted from doing little business things with every spare moment I have. I am trying to pull back but the drive is so strong.

I love playing with my son, and cooking, and oh so much, but I am running the clock.

I am stretched. Self inflicted, yes, but stretched to the max. Is it good? I don't know-I don't think it is the best, though it is helping me let go of trying to have a baby. It gives me a reason to stop trying so damn hard to do what is biologically normal/expected. It allows me to start feeling productive and fertile again. It is helping erase the years of drain that fertility inflicted upon me. I am a tough boss-I am trying to prove to myself that I am worthy of self love-self acceptance. That I can possibly not go back to teaching and stay home with my son-even if I don't have another baby. The trick-the issue-the challenge, is that at the rate I am pushing is too hard and I desperately need to slow down a little. I am just not sure if I can. The loss in March really really did me in. I am pretty relilient but it came close to being the straw that broke this camels back.

So - in many many ways there is relief that this pregnancy didn't make it out of the starting gate. Having a balanced translocation really pins the odds against me-and I am sick of facing the wrong side of those odds. I need to find my balance again. But the nagging voice of failure can't help but get a few jabs in on my psyche. Once again, biologically, I have failed.

I am so excited-I found a new way to make pendants. This one is about 3 inches by 2 inches. It really makes a statement.

I have a few orders to get out forst but later today I will be listing this one in my shop along with a few other new chunky funky bezel pendants.

My son had a much better day yesterday at school. He cried a lot when I left him but they said it was his best day yet, which thrilled me.

I have been feeling pretty nauseous the past few days, so yesterday I took a pregnancy test that came up slightly positive. I had such a mix of emotions which based on my history of many many miscarriages (I think I have forgotten how many-7 if I am remembering) included-"this will be such a bad time to have a miscarriage". This am I took another test and it was barely discernable so maybe it was a fluke. I will wait a few days and see what happens.

Update**** took another test this afternoon-an early early test and it was starkly negative. Who would have thunk it? Anyway-I am relieved. I think my body and mind needs more recovery time before facing another pregnancy.

Thank you for your warm wishes and thoughts-always appreciatedXO

i just got my most recent print order in the mail yesterday. It included this in 8' x 8" size. It looks so beautiful.

I also got some LARGE prints for my show in december. I am so impressed with how beautiful they came out. I can't wait to get them printed.

I was clapping and doing a dance when I opened them. Something about seeing the pics in print vs the computer screen transforms them.

Well I feel the chrsitmas rush starting. I will still post here every day but I am going to have to cut down my blog reading time a bit. I will still be around just a little less.

Sunday Scribblings ~ Money

There is the cliche- time is money.

The past few days I have been thinking about time. I have been dedicating all my free time to my business-in hopes of making money during this prime shopping period coming up. As a result I have spent a lot less time on taking care of my body and mind.

At my inlaws last weekend I saw an article in Oprah's magazine about Dr. Oz's new book and health program. http://www2.oprah.com/health/oz/programs/young/young_main.jhtml?promocode=HP15 I have decided to take the 14 day challenge starting today.

I have a feeling that being healthier and less stressed will bring me more wealth and money than continuing to ignore it.

These earrings are for you Jessie.

Today I was brave in getting up at 6:00 am even though we had a childless party here last night and I was up past midnight. I don't know if you had ever played the board game cranium before, but oh my we had fun. I really needed to unwind with some grown ups. It felt so good to sit with three other couples playing a game and laughing until my cheeks hurt and I couldn't seem to catch my breath.

I had a lot of work and packaging to do this morning so I knew I had to get up at 6:00 if I wanted a fighting chance of getting it all done.

I am happy to say that although I am exhausted-and my son had a few extra tantrums because I was a bit distracted this am-all the invites are out for my first jewelry party-all orders that could be shipped were-and I have photographed all the new pieces I have made. Here is a sneak peek. I have listed a few in the shop but I am starting to see cross eyed so I have to load more another time.

Oh and I think I listened to the "darkest season" by Deb Talan at least 10 times, and shed at least 10 hundred tears. This happens to me sometimes. I will hear a song that makes me really feel deeply and I will celebrate my ability to feel by listening to it over and over until my tears dry up. the tears were a mix of missing my girlfriends I was with 1 year ago in Seattle, contemplating a wise ones question to me " do you believe you can be ok without your mother?" (this has so many layers to it), holding my friends little baby girl all night-she is the exact age my son would be, appreciation for my artistic expressions and all of those who are supporting them.

Here are the lyrics:

Darkest season by Deb Talan

the last few golden leaves are clinging tightly to their branches

like they don't want to let go

like they don't trust what they don't know

what they don't know

'cause it's not quite winter and it's not quite fall

and even though it's been a year

i cannot pass you by

not at all i tell myself

enough

my heart can't feel the reason why

must we into the darkest season

it's cold getting colder

i dreamt last night of being older

i looked in the mirror there was so much grey

if i saw you tomorrow what would i say

what could you say

it's not quite winter and it's not quite fall

and even though it's been a year

i cannot pass you by

not at all

i tell myself

enough

my heart can't feel the reason

why must we into the darkest season the darkest season

it's not that i'm not thankful or grateful for what we've grown

it's not that i'm not living my life alright on my own

i still feel the empty space

i still feel the wind blow through

i still thought in any case that i'd always know you

it's not quite fall and even though it's been a year i cannot pass

you by not at all

i tell myself

enough

my heart can't feel the reason why

must we into the darkest season it's cold getting colder

i dreamt last night of being older

i looked in the mirror there was so much grey

if i saw you tomorrow what would i say

what could you say

it's not quite winter and it's not quite fall and even though it's been a year i cannot pass you by not at all i tell myself enough my heart can't feel the reason why must we into the darkest season